Wednesday April 5, 2017
It was normal Wednesday afternoon. My husband was working in Poland. I was finishing up dinner about to head to my Wednesday night yoga class. A neighbor friend was going to come with me for the first time. I didn't know her very well. In the middle of my daily chaos my phone rang.
It was my sister, she was crying. She told me that our stepdad had called Bo and told him that they wanted them to meet them later that night. Carisa had been at work. She had tried to call my mom but my mom's phone was going straight to vm. She called my other sister and Joe had told her the same thing, to meet at their house later.
We knew it was bad. My mom had went to the ER a little over a week ago with shoulder pain. She thought it was her gall bladder. They had found a mass on her liver. They told her it was an abscess but when they tried to drain it, they found out that it was solid. They ended up sending her home. She went to her regular doctor who asked a few questions like "Have you been losing weight?" (To which she replied no). He told her "Well it's definitely not cancer".
We all sighed a huge sigh of relief.
Fast forward to Wednesday night. After ending the call with my sister, I call Joe. He answered the phone crying. "Your mom has cancer". It didn't feel real. It couldn't be real. We don't have cancer in our family.... her doctor just told us it couldn't be cancer.... they're wrong. Can I talk to my mom?
Mom gets on the phone sniffing but sounding super optimistic. "Jess, don't worry about me. No matter what happens, I'm going to be alright." I don't remember much other than that. I tried to sound positive for my mom, I know that. In that moment I told myself she's going to be fine. She's going to beat this. I never let myself not have hope. I never let her not have hope.
After I hung up the phone with my mom, I lost it. I know I called Casey but that conversation is a blur. I was about to call my friend to cancel yoga when I heard my kids coming in from school. I couldn't face them. I wasn't ready to tell them and I couldn't look them in the eye and not tell them. I decided to go to yoga, I needed out of my house.
Life has never been the same since that moment.
It's crazy how fast your life can change. Don't take a second for granted.
It was my sister, she was crying. She told me that our stepdad had called Bo and told him that they wanted them to meet them later that night. Carisa had been at work. She had tried to call my mom but my mom's phone was going straight to vm. She called my other sister and Joe had told her the same thing, to meet at their house later.
We knew it was bad. My mom had went to the ER a little over a week ago with shoulder pain. She thought it was her gall bladder. They had found a mass on her liver. They told her it was an abscess but when they tried to drain it, they found out that it was solid. They ended up sending her home. She went to her regular doctor who asked a few questions like "Have you been losing weight?" (To which she replied no). He told her "Well it's definitely not cancer".
We all sighed a huge sigh of relief.
Fast forward to Wednesday night. After ending the call with my sister, I call Joe. He answered the phone crying. "Your mom has cancer". It didn't feel real. It couldn't be real. We don't have cancer in our family.... her doctor just told us it couldn't be cancer.... they're wrong. Can I talk to my mom?
Mom gets on the phone sniffing but sounding super optimistic. "Jess, don't worry about me. No matter what happens, I'm going to be alright." I don't remember much other than that. I tried to sound positive for my mom, I know that. In that moment I told myself she's going to be fine. She's going to beat this. I never let myself not have hope. I never let her not have hope.
After I hung up the phone with my mom, I lost it. I know I called Casey but that conversation is a blur. I was about to call my friend to cancel yoga when I heard my kids coming in from school. I couldn't face them. I wasn't ready to tell them and I couldn't look them in the eye and not tell them. I decided to go to yoga, I needed out of my house.
Life has never been the same since that moment.
It's crazy how fast your life can change. Don't take a second for granted.
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